Dealing With Clients Who Refuse to Mediate: What To Do
- Mediation Academy
- Jul 15, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: May 21
You open your inbox. There's a new case waiting. After consulting with Party 1, you contact Party 2—but they refuse to mediate. They ignore your emails, don’t return your calls, and avoid engagement. Why does this always happen? The answer is simple: your clients often associate mediation with litigation and don’t yet understand what the process involves. To build trust and open communication, it helps to adjust your approach. Here’s a proven technique to encourage even reluctant clients to consider family mediation.
Why Clients Refuse Mediation
Many clients misunderstand mediation. They associate it with legal intimidation or adversarial processes. In reality, mediation in South Africa is confidential, impartial, and collaborative. By framing your invitation in the right way, you reduce resistance and improve participation.
The Wrong Way to Approach Party 2
Avoid legal-sounding phrases like:
“I have been instructed to contact you”
“You are herewith invited to attend a meeting”
“After discussing the matter with Mrs so-and-so (your ex)”
This formal tone makes Party 2 think you're an attorney, triggering defensiveness and mistrust.
The Right Way to Start the Conversation
Try saying:
“I haven’t decided whether I want to take on the case yet. I wanted to speak with you first before making my decision.”
This softens the dynamic and builds rapport. You’re presenting yourself as neutral, which supports one of mediation’s core principles: impartiality.
Why This Technique Works
It invites engagement without pressure. It creates a safe space where both parties feel heard. And it avoids reinforcing the misconception that mediation is about taking sides.
In Conclusion
If you’re struggling with client engagement in mediation, your communication style may be the key. A softer, more neutral approach encourages participation and reflects best practices in mediation communication techniques.
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