Parental Alienation in SA: Mediation for Fathers and Children
- Ivan Veenemans
- Sep 26
- 4 min read
Parental alienation is a serious issue where a child begins to reject one parent, often after separation or divorce. In South Africa, it is fathers who are most often affected, as they struggle to maintain meaningful contact with their children. For a child psychologist, social worker, or registered counsellor, supporting these fathers and their families has become an increasing concern. Many professionals encounter such cases regularly, whether working as a psychologist in Cape Town, a psychologist in Durban, a psychologist in Pretoria, or a psychologist in Port Elizabeth. Mediation provides a safe space for families to address conflict, helping fathers rebuild trust, stay connected to their children, and protect long-term emotional wellbeing.
What Is Parental Alienation in South Africa?
Parental alienation happens when a child’s opinion of one parent is negatively influenced by the other. This might involve:
Speaking badly about the other parent.
Blocking or discouraging visits.
Pressuring the child to take sides.
For children, this creates stress, confusion, and divided loyalty. For a child psychologist or registered counsellor, recognising these behaviours early is vital to reduce long-term harm. Social workers also play an important role in identifying family dynamics that drive alienation and guiding parents toward healthier choices.
Mediation and the Role of Psychologists and Social Workers
Mediation is more than a legal step: it supports emotional healing by giving parents and children a structured way to work through conflict. This process provides a safe environment for honest conversation, child-focused parenting plans, improved communication, and greater stability at home.
For a psychologist in Pretoria or a psychologist in Cape Town, mediation complements therapy by lowering family tension. It also gives social workers and registered counsellors a framework to reinforce healthier relationships.
Research on Parental Alienation and Mental Health
Credible research confirms that parental alienation is not only a legal matter but also a psychological one.
A 2022 review in the Healthcare Journal described parental alienation as a form of emotional and contextual neglect, where one parent manipulates the child into rejecting the other. The study linked this behaviour to long-term difficulties such as low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety (Healthcare Journal).
A qualitative study in Children (Basel) interviewed 20 adults who had been alienated from a parent during childhood. Ninety per cent reported mental-health struggles, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and even suicidal thoughts, all connected to their experiences of parental alienation (Children Journal – Parental Alienating Behaviours).
Another article in the Healthcare Journal highlighted that the World Health Organization includes emotional maltreatment in its definition of child abuse, and argued that parental alienation fits within this framework. The American Psychological Association similarly recognises parental alienation as a harmful form of manipulation (Healthcare Journal – Medical-Legal and Psychosocial Considerations).
Together, this research shows that parental alienation can have serious and lasting effects on mental health, making early recognition and professional intervention — including mediation — essential.
Voices of Children Affected by Parental Alienation
Real experiences show how damaging parental alienation can be. In an article published by Jan James, children who grew up in alienated households described feelings of loss, confusion, and mistrust toward both parents. Many shared that these struggles followed them into adulthood, shaping how they approached relationships and trust (LinkedIn: Survivor Children of Parental Alienation Speak Out).
For psychologists, counsellors, and social workers, these accounts highlight the urgent need to address alienation early. Mediation gives families a chance to repair relationships before the damage becomes permanent.
Why Counsellors, Social Workers, and Child Psychologists Are Key
Professionals such as psychologists, social workers, and counsellors are often the first to notice signs of parental alienation. Their involvement in mediation can:
Ensure children’s needs and feelings are prioritised.
Help parents understand the emotional harm caused by alienation.
Provide ongoing therapeutic support after mediation
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What is parental alienation in South Africa?
Parental alienation happens when a child is influenced to reject one parent, often after divorce or separation. It goes beyond normal family conflict and is recognised by many experts as a form of psychological harm to children.
How can mediation help with parental alienation?
Mediation provides a safe and structured space where parents can work through conflict without putting children in the middle. It helps create fair parenting plans, reduces hostility, and allows children to maintain strong relationships with both parents.
What role do psychologists and counsellors play in parental alienation cases?
A child psychologist, social worker, or registered counsellor often recognises early signs of alienation. Whether it’s a psychologist in Cape Town, a psychologist in Durban, a psychologist in Pretoria, or a psychologist in Port Elizabeth, these professionals support children’s emotional wellbeing and guide parents through healthier ways of managing conflict.
What are the psychological effects of parental alienation on children?
Research shows that children affected by parental alienation may suffer from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming relationships later in life. These effects can be long-lasting if not addressed early.
Can mediation stop the long-term harm of parental alienation?
Mediation cannot erase all the effects, but it can significantly reduce conflict, restore parent-child relationships, and give professionals such as counsellors, social workers, and psychologists a stronger foundation for ongoing therapeutic work.
Ready to Learn More?
If you want to understand how mediation can support fathers and families facing parental alienation, explore our accredited courses and resources at Mediation Academy South Africa. Together, we can create healthier family outcomes and stronger futures.
Supporting Fathers Through Mediation
Parental alienation places a heavy emotional burden on fathers who want to remain present in their children’s lives. It also affects the children who may feel torn between parents and struggle with lasting emotional harm. Mediation offers fathers a constructive way to rebuild relationships, reduce conflict, and create parenting plans that prioritise their children’s wellbeing. For child psychologists, registered counsellors, and social workers, mediation becomes a tool to guide fathers and families toward healing. By working together, professionals can ensure that fathers are not sidelined, but instead supported in playing a meaningful and stable role in their children’s futures.
Publisher: Mediation Academy South Africa
Published: September 2025
© 2025 Mediation Academy South Africa. All rights reserved.
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